this is what my life is like on a daily basis

It's not easy to describe preparing for the bar exam. Even in a good economy, it’s sort of like combining the SATs, every SAT II ever conceived out of the wildest dreams of sadists and biology enthusiasts, the LSATs—actually a couple of LSATs, all with conflicting directions—and rolling them all up into one dastardly whole. No, wait, actually it's worse than that. It's sort of like if you took a scorpion tail, and made it bigger, and attached it to a lion's body, but stronger... No. Worse than that, too. See the problem here? Mere words cannot describe it.

Let me attempt to show you my feelings over the course of any given half hour:

First: Guilt!

"Are you studying? You're doodling again, aren't you?"

Second: Sadness!

I will suffocate to death alone and friendless in my apartment for no reason except that I am SUCH A FAILURE DEAR GOD WHY. Also I got eyeliner on my sad clown outfit. :'( (No, really, I did. Unfortunately purple eyeliner is not an effective doodling device.)

Third: Rare flashes of competence!

Blogger won't let me upload another picture here for some reason so here's this instead:

You're welcome.

Fourth: Boredom!

Much to my fiance's relief, I am slowly going through my highlighter collection. But there was a time when I could have done ridiculous pretend Chinese brush paintings in more colors than the rainbow. WAY more. Fuck rainbows.

Fifth: We must plug onwards. I can't think of a pithy word for that. "Persistence" sounds too optimistic. Hmm. I think I'll go with "Avast!" although to be honest I have no idea what "avast!" means except that pirates say it and it is awesome.

Oh--and sixth: Desire for amusing t-shirts. But that applies all the time, not just during bar prep.

I really wish that were a real show.